Saturday, July 11, 2009

Dear Diary,

Why Blog?
Is there a narcissistic need to put out your every monotonous minute by minute detail of your life? Is it a narcissistic detail of what you ate, or how far you run/ how long you exercise? Is a blog a means to be hateful and make an anonymous attack on others? Why? Blog?
Dear Diary used to be a private way to get out inner thoughts in privacy. Now it takes on a new meaning when it's published on the web. Why do it ? Is it still "Dear Diary" if you don't broadcast your blog?

Or if you lead people to it does it make you a narcissist?

Well somewhere in the middle is this little rant.

I want to talk about public scrutiny and the place where anonymous people lift you up and stand up for you. ( If you didn't read "the hateful blog about me" this will be cryptic, and that for me is ok, if not it's my response on my terms)

I do not want to give too much thought or energy to hateful small people, especially attention seeking people that try for shock value. However, its a reoccurring theme in my life.

Friends say, it's because you are doing well, good things in your life make small people like to try to take you down. I like that. Does it make me narcissistic? Maybe?

But maybe along the path I have tripped a few people. I have also stood up to a few bullies or thieves along this path. Those people never say.."hey I tried defraud were right to hold the work until I paid you." Or" Hey, I bullied you for years, so when you stood up for yourself good for you." Or " I squandered my opportunity with you, when you ended the professional and personal relationship I deserved it."

I do understand I am not perfect. I can caste out hateful energy into the universe. I often feel I am entitled. They did this to me, so therefore, I can then respond.

Is it ever ok? In a very zen mentality, nope never: Energy Out, Energy In. What you put out comes back to you. Reality..well bullies, thieves and hateful people need to be dealt with or you validate their energy.

So how do you get "Carbon Neutral Karma?" When you can not clean up your pollution can you balance the energy is other ways?

Not sure, it's my work in progress.

Treat the next guy I date differently, treat the next person to wrong me with kid gloves to minimize the after effect.

Dear Diary,

I just want to be left in an anonymous state to continue my journey in peace to figure things out for myself with out hecklers. Please make the next guy honest, sweet and without malicious intention. ( ok that seems a bit far fetched in reality) How about next time when faced with chaos I can control my reactions so that they do not come back to bite me later? better?



ok seriously, I think intentions for blogs must be a disclaimer in reading these blogs.

And to the haters, bite me. I still like me. I think you need to look within. Kiss my hiney.


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